Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored


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‘Yellow

I’m here, I’m not here. What is this farce I’ve cooked up I wonder. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, though, I can’t remember the last time I finished something. I mean actually finished something.

Damn…

Either way, I’m back, for the umpteenth time, I might add. Hate to sound like a broken record but has to be said.

Sigh…

So, what’s new, what’s happening here on wordpress. I see the design has changed somewhat, The annoying “Go Premium” is still there on the top, mocking me. I will never ‘go premium’ so to speak, The blue mark on the sleek black design humbles me. The new post tab still has that yummy chocolaty feel to it that I love. Just ready to be sunk into.

I’ve missed this, this tap and click of the keyboard. Nothing beats the satisfaction of a good solid post.

What’s new with me? you ask, why thank you for caring. I’ve been busy, Graduated college, a month ago. Attending a university now, learning arabic, so that’s nice.

Its raining outside, Not one of those measly barely registered ones, the two year olds running around shitless kind of rain. The kind they make special effects out of. I love rain though. Nothing deep or anything just that If you live in the kind of heat I live, you learn to love it.

Oh! and you’ll be seeing some poems I’ve been writing (hopefully). I’m a sucker for rhymes so none of those non rhythmic stuff.

I’m beat.

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Trifecta Weekend Challenge: So Help Me God

Trifecta weekend challenge. It’s been a while since I’ve taken on one of these. Well, here goes …

So Help Me God

Cal! Hon! Dear?

GODDAMMIT, WHAT?

I- I just wanted to s-

WHAT!? SPEAK WOMAN!!

I love you …

I SWEAR, IF YOU WAKE ME FROM THE DEAD AGAIN FOR THIS- SO HELP ME GOD!

—–

*Update*

Don’t hoard your votes people, I hear giving’s nice this time of year.

.

P.S. I wouldn’t know.


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I…uh…Hi!

… this … feels … awkward …

What do I say? where do I begin? Are things the same as when I left off? Am I just talking to myself? Probably.

The last time I wrote something … what was it? Ten days? No, fifteen. Yup definitely fifteen. Um … one month ago. One whole month? That can’t be right, right? Oh wait, two freakin’ months!! TWO! … Imagine that.

Hmm, let’s see, who do I remember? Yes! I’ll never forget that lady with the green colored page that makes me wanna puke. Sweet lady … something about vogue magazine … and also something about answering questions … HIMYM? … wow, my memory sucks.

Then there was that Tom guy. Was it Tom? I’m not sure. Hilarious really. Something about tops … tops … tops … topless! … wait, that can’t be right. Topicless!

Myth … a cartoon … I dunno … boy problems? … probably not …. my head hurts … tea anyone?

 

 


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Homecoming

He lowered himself gently. The deep throne welcomed him. He allowed himself a sigh of satisfaction- something he had missed. His body shivered ever so slightly at the cold touch. A profound sense of regret engulfed him. Resonating. A clenching pang of pain in his chest – almost physical. For it had indeed been a long time- yes a long time indeed, since he had been here, among these people.

Ah, the people, his gaze swept over them. The effect: overwhelming. Such colorful people. Such colorful lives. He had missed these people. For they were dear, loved even. Like another family. He had always thought of himself as a pessimist. But the thoughts swirling around in his head were anything but.

He cleared his throat, wondering where to begin. It was the wondering that took the longest, as he was warned it would. Again, he cleared his throat, “-Uhm -uhm” in hopes that this will light a spark. The attentiveness this generated was even more unsettling. He fidgeted a bit before finally parting his lips,

“I would like to say that I’m back, for what it’s worth. I’ve missed this. More than I imagined possible. But I’m back. Though you may not consider me bound, I do. Consequently, the guilt I feel is profound, genuine even. I cannot put it into words, though I must try. This may sound childish, but it is true. I’m sorry.”

His words were heartfelt. A rare thing- that. It was what most appealed to them- the people. They accepted it. Quietly, gently, without a word.

And he was thankful for it.


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Blocked and Stopped

In the last ten days, I’ve not written anything. Various reasons, exams chief among them. But that is done and finished.

So, I return to my usual practice. Only, its damn hard now for some reason. Ideas for the next post are there, nagging at the back of my mind. But my brain, for some blasted reason, is refusing to function. Like a virtual standstill, only, it’s not virtual.

Let me break it down for you. I am sitting here, in front of the computer. My fingers hover over the keyboard. I write a sentence. Two sentences. Halfway through the third …

Halt. Backspace. 

I write again. Backspace. I grit my teeth. I write a whole paragraph, pleased with myself – for a minute. Standstill. 

It’s not a writer’s block. Nothing like that. I had one of those once. This is different. I know what to write and how to write. My mind approves, but when it appears on the screen. It just seems … wrong. Out of place. Like gold embroidery on a toilet seat.


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Just … Just Let Go

I. Trashed. a. post.

-And that's how full of it you've gotta be to write something like that.

Oh dear God, I cannot believe it. It was so so stupid. The post, I mean. The act of trashing it was possibly the best decision I’ve made in my life.

The post was like a sick version of me, drunk and tipsy, telling a tale with so much enthusiasm, it was embarrassing. I think I truly defined the term ‘a mountain out of a molehill’ yesterday.

What was I thinking! I keep saying to myself. And the title, oh the title, you wouldn’t believe the lengths of stupidity you’d have to cross to come across a title like that. I’m not even brave enough to mention it here for the sake of credibility because of the embarrassment that will ensue. Any day now, they’ll have the poster of my face on merriam webster, right below the term of idiot. For visual aid purposes.

Thank God, there was no feedback. A couple of likes, yes, but those were bearable. But a comment would’ve killed me. How do you respond to something like that. Yes, Thank you, Choke me now.

But all is not lost. I made progress. I’m big enough a man now to admit when my stuff is good as a dead rat’s bony ass. So, that’s definitely cause for celebration, right?