Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored


Before The Dead

Just the other day, I was walking down the street. Blinding car lights everywhere, honking like no tomorrow. Hawkers yelling at the top of their voices, people shoving other people and other people shoving back, and great roadside brawls, everyone cheering for the underdog, heartening, really.

So, I was walking down the street, and hear this, ’cause this is unbelievable!! Like, seriously WOW!! Capital letters and all.

So, there I was walking down the street, and as I was halfway across, I noticed something odd. I tilted my head sideways, just enough to look back, and the realization that hit me was beyond staggering. I came to a halt. Taking in the impact. Maybe the harsh wind was messing with my head, or maybe it was one of those inexplicable moments, but the only thing that I can clearly remember feeling is – giddy. Exultantly, blissfully giddy. I can’t explain it, I just – can’t.

Anyway, as I gathered my wits, I looked back at the street, with a different perspective. Casually, I resumed walking. Acutely aware of everything around me, more so than usual, I closed in on the exit. A steel door, barred, leading to the cemetery.

I took one calculated step across the thin crack on the road, that marked the territory of the dead. Looked back, and stepped into the cemetery. I turned at the spot, gazing at what lay before. And I thought to myself,

Tomorrow is my English test, and I desperately need to write something, anything to get back in the hang of things. And if somebody is still reading this they either really really like me or they’re just a sucker for suspense.




… this … feels … awkward …

What do I say? where do I begin? Are things the same as when I left off? Am I just talking to myself? Probably.

The last time I wrote something … what was it? Ten days? No, fifteen. Yup definitely fifteen. Um … one month ago. One whole month? That can’t be right, right? Oh wait, two freakin’ months!! TWO! … Imagine that.

Hmm, let’s see, who do I remember? Yes! I’ll never forget that lady with the green colored page that makes me wanna puke. Sweet lady … something about vogue magazine … and also something about answering questions … HIMYM? … wow, my memory sucks.

Then there was that Tom guy. Was it Tom? I’m not sure. Hilarious really. Something about tops … tops … tops … topless! … wait, that can’t be right. Topicless!

Myth … a cartoon … I dunno … boy problems? … probably not …. my head hurts … tea anyone?




Where? Here

Oh my God!!! Thank goodness I found you. Where were you?!! I’ve been looking all over for you, you know. Are you hurt somewhere? Were you lost? No? Then, where have you been!! I hate this thing about you, running off without a word. You really need to take others into consideration, you know. I am so freakin’ mad at you right now, you have got no idea! Enough is enough, I’ve called all your friends, your classmates, even your homeroom teacher, but did I find you? No. You come strolling back home like nothings happened. Well, something has happened, I am mad. Really, really mad. So, I want an explanation and I want it now. You can’t wiggle your way out of this one. I’ve had it with you and your annoying attitude. I will have no more. No more!! you hear me? So, whatever you have to say better be good, or else. Come on, speak up. Let us all hear what brilliant excuse you come up with …

I…uh…bathroom ?


Opposed Images

Part of what makes me anti-social is that I don’t like pictures taken of me – there’s nothing philosophical about it – I just don’t.

I’m not ugly – but I’m not exactly what you call prince charming either. But looks are not the reason. I have hated it since I was six years old. I was never eager to get into family shots and if I did, I made sure I was at the very back, in the shade. I think it’s safe to say I was not exceptionally self-conscious at that age. Kids seldom are. It’s not that I’m not a camera person – though I can’t say for sure considering I never even gave it a try.

I don’t like seeing myself from the camera’s point of view. It offends me. The idea, somehow reminds me of ‘face off’ – if anybody has seen that. I see pictures taken of me when I was young, really young. Before six. And the sight is not pretty. Ever.

The last thing I want to do is share my pictures – the few I’ve been unable to get rid of – on the internet. My cyber friends totally get that, though in their minds it’s about anonymity; to the contrary, it’s much more elemental. But I suppose being anonymous is an added bonus, the satisfaction I get of knowing that in people’s minds I am the kid from the blog header is priceless. I am what I chose to be.

One of the reasons why I like eating out is because of the whole “no camera” thing the hotels have got going. I know photographers wouldn’t exactly jump up and start flashing cameras the first moment they saw me, but with that notion out of the equation, the food tastes better.

A little while back, I was going on a college trip and the buses that were to take us,  were running late. Out of sheer boredom people pulled out their cameras. One thing led to another and there was something like a photo shoot going on in less than three minutes. For memories sake, students paired up with professors. When everybody was done and finished, one professor, who did not know me very well looked at me expectantly.

I was lurking in the shadows the entire time and that professor found it odd that the sarcastic one was the one hiding out.

He called out and I approached. He inquired. I tried to explain, and I think I did a pretty good job of it, I might have done better without the stifled laughter around me, but in the end, the message didn’t quite get through. I think I distinctly heard him muttering,”Don’t – like – photos – honestly?!”. But I suppose the others teachers explained it to him afterwards. Me being vain and me hating pictures, it all adds up.