Honest Choices

For the last six-ish months, I’ve been learning Arabic. It’s not one of those side projects, or extra credit kind of deal, we’re talking full time, 5 hours a day, 6 days a week. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve even started thinking in Arabic, however clumsily. My professors tell me that’s a milestone. I don’t know, still feels like a shitload I don’t have a clue about.

Since the first time I walked into a school, to the day of graduation, what I studied, what I learned, what I memorized has been predetermined. Anything and everything that I have associated with the word ‘study’ was what I was supposed to study. I learned what was laid out for me. From a syllabus I had no say over. I didn’t hate it, per se, I was good at it. Didn’t really have to struggle much, took it all in stride. Eventually, it did get kind of old. Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely loved school. And college. But it didn’t even occur to me, until after graduation, that now I had a choice. An actual choice.

I could become an architect, an aeronautical engineer (I became one in a dream I had long time ago, so it sort of stuck in my mind), a doctor (well, not really, I didn’t go to pre-med) or anything in between. So when I did chose, learning a language, I mean, it was my choice, mine. And that more than anything else, made me want to learn, want to speak it more and more fluently, made me want to be so good at it, that I could be happy with myself.

Usually, I don’t really like to talk about myself, I’m more of a people pleaser, so I try to be funny, end up being sarcastic, because I don’t really know how to be funny. But this is an honest-to-goodness diary entry, that I had to write somewhere down, and since I didn’t really want to get a diary just for this, so there.

To all my old, old friends on wordpress, I hate apologizing over and over and over, but every time I write a post, it’s usually been such a long time since the last one that I feel like I have to, like I owe you guys. Even though you probably have forgotten my name by now, I haven’t.

‘Yellow

I’m here, I’m not here. What is this farce I’ve cooked up I wonder. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, though, I can’t remember the last time I finished something. I mean actually finished something.

Damn…

Either way, I’m back, for the umpteenth time, I might add. Hate to sound like a broken record but has to be said.

Sigh…

So, what’s new, what’s happening here on wordpress. I see the design has changed somewhat, The annoying “Go Premium” is still there on the top, mocking me. I will never ‘go premium’ so to speak, The blue mark on the sleek black design humbles me. The new post tab still has that yummy chocolaty feel to it that I love. Just ready to be sunk into.

I’ve missed this, this tap and click of the keyboard. Nothing beats the satisfaction of a good solid post.

What’s new with me? you ask, why thank you for caring. I’ve been busy, Graduated college, a month ago. Attending a university now, learning arabic, so that’s nice.

Its raining outside, Not one of those measly barely registered ones, the two year olds running around shitless kind of rain. The kind they make special effects out of. I love rain though. Nothing deep or anything just that If you live in the kind of heat I live, you learn to love it.

Oh! and you’ll be seeing some poems I’ve been writing (hopefully). I’m a sucker for rhymes so none of those non rhythmic stuff.

I’m beat.

Trifextra Week 70: Worlds Collide

Trifextra Week 70:

I saw the prompt and went, Yay! I have just the thing for this (sort of). This is a part of a much bigger poem, one that’s not quite finished as of yet (the lazy in me sends his love).

Anyway, here goes …

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Worlds Collide

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His life a normalcy, hers vibrancy,

Worlds collide

His eyes a distant-blue, hers crimson hue

Looks imply

His nervous smile, her vocal sigh,

Volumes said

His questioning eyes, her urgent smile,

Breaths entwine

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P.S. It may not look it but it is impossibly difficult to fill in the format of His__, Her__, two-word-punch-line.

Trifecta Weekend Challenge: So Help Me God

Trifecta weekend challenge. It’s been a while since I’ve taken on one of these. Well, here goes …

So Help Me God

Cal! Hon! Dear?

GODDAMMIT, WHAT?

I- I just wanted to s-

WHAT!? SPEAK WOMAN!!

I love you …

I SWEAR, IF YOU WAKE ME FROM THE DEAD AGAIN FOR THIS- SO HELP ME GOD!

—–

*Update*

Don’t hoard your votes people, I hear giving’s nice this time of year.

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P.S. I wouldn’t know.

It’s a Maybe

So maybe I haven’t been the most devoted writer in the world. Maybe I haven’t been the one good thing to ever happen to the world of blogging. And maybe I haven’t been here since – well – forever. And maybe – just maybe – that’s true. But that doesn’t mean its the end of the world, plenty of people are like that, plenty aren’t. Who’s to say who’s better. Maybe they have a life. Maybe they have better things to do than moon over a keyboard all day and night.

Maybe you’ll object to that, claiming that it doesn’t take much to maintain a blog. Maybe I’ll listen, or maybe I’ll wave away your objections, simply because I can. Maybe I’ll say you don’t know me, you don’t what I’ve been through, you don’t know anything about me! Maybe I’ll throw a tantrum to prove my point, maybe I’ll put a foot through the T.V., bang my head against the wall – and jump off the roof while I’m at it. Or maybe I won’t act like a little bitch. Maybe I’ll listen to what you have to say and think on it. Maybe I’ll turn my life around and become a better man, a better son, a better brother, a better father to the son I may or may not have. And maybe I’ll stop beating the wife I haven’t married. Maybe I’ll listen. Maybe I’ll start a charity for gorillas with one leg, gain worldwide recognition and become the hero I was always meant to be. Who’s is to say, maybe you’re right …

But then again, maybe I just don’t give a shit.

…

I do. I do.

Give a shit that is. Don’t believe me? I’ll have to set up a cam – or a recording? Your choice …

All else aside, it has been a while, though that’s putting it mildly …

Half an year.

I’ll take a moment to think on that … maybe …

Or an hour.

Or a week.

Or another half an year.

Either way, its a maybe …