Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored


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Honest Choices

For the last six-ish months, I’ve been learning Arabic. It’s not one of those side projects, or extra credit kind of deal, we’re talking full time, 5 hours a day, 6 days a week. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve even started thinking in Arabic, however clumsily. My professors tell me that’s a milestone. I don’t know, still feels like a shitload I don’t have a clue about.

Since the first time I walked into a school, to the day of graduation, what I studied, what I learned, what I memorized has been predetermined. Anything and everything that I have associated with the word ‘study’ was what I was supposed to study. I learned what was laid out for me. From a syllabus I had no say over. I didn’t hate it, per se, I was good at it. Didn’t really have to struggle much, took it all in stride. Eventually, it did get kind of old. Don’t get me wrong though, I absolutely loved school. And college. But it didn’t even occur to me, until after graduation, that now I had a choice. An actual choice.

I could become an architect, an aeronautical engineer (I became one in a dream I had long time ago, so it sort of stuck in my mind), a doctor (well, not really, I didn’t go to pre-med) or anything in between. So when I did chose, learning a language, I mean, it was my choice, mine. And that more than anything else, made me want to learn, want to speak it more and more fluently, made me want to be so good at it, that I could be happy with myself.

Usually, I don’t really like to talk about myself, I’m more of a people pleaser, so I try to be funny, end up being sarcastic, because I don’t really know how to be funny. But this is an honest-to-goodness diary entry, that I had to write somewhere down, and since I didn’t really want to get a diary just for this, so there.

To all my old, old friends on wordpress, I hate apologizing over and over and over, but every time I write a post, it’s usually been such a long time since the last one that I feel like I have to, like I owe you guys. Even though you probably have forgotten my name by now, I haven’t.


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‘Yellow

I’m here, I’m not here. What is this farce I’ve cooked up I wonder. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, though, I can’t remember the last time I finished something. I mean actually finished something.

Damn…

Either way, I’m back, for the umpteenth time, I might add. Hate to sound like a broken record but has to be said.

Sigh…

So, what’s new, what’s happening here on wordpress. I see the design has changed somewhat, The annoying “Go Premium” is still there on the top, mocking me. I will never ‘go premium’ so to speak, The blue mark on the sleek black design humbles me. The new post tab still has that yummy chocolaty feel to it that I love. Just ready to be sunk into.

I’ve missed this, this tap and click of the keyboard. Nothing beats the satisfaction of a good solid post.

What’s new with me? you ask, why thank you for caring. I’ve been busy, Graduated college, a month ago. Attending a university now, learning arabic, so that’s nice.

Its raining outside, Not one of those measly barely registered ones, the two year olds running around shitless kind of rain. The kind they make special effects out of. I love rain though. Nothing deep or anything just that If you live in the kind of heat I live, you learn to love it.

Oh! and you’ll be seeing some poems I’ve been writing (hopefully). I’m a sucker for rhymes so none of those non rhythmic stuff.

I’m beat.


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Trifextra Week 70: Worlds Collide

Trifextra Week 70:

I saw the prompt and went, Yay! I have just the thing for this (sort of). This is a part of a much bigger poem, one that’s not quite finished as of yet (the lazy in me sends his love).

Anyway, here goes …

.

iran-tehran_l

.

Worlds Collide

.

His life a normalcy, hers vibrancy,

Worlds collide

His eyes a distant-blue, hers crimson hue

Looks imply

His nervous smile, her vocal sigh,

Volumes said

His questioning eyes, her urgent smile,

Breaths entwine

.

P.S. It may not look it but it is impossibly difficult to fill in the format of His__, Her__, two-word-punch-line.


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Trifecta Weekend Challenge: So Help Me God

Trifecta weekend challenge. It’s been a while since I’ve taken on one of these. Well, here goes …

So Help Me God

Cal! Hon! Dear?

GODDAMMIT, WHAT?

I- I just wanted to s-

WHAT!? SPEAK WOMAN!!

I love you …

I SWEAR, IF YOU WAKE ME FROM THE DEAD AGAIN FOR THIS- SO HELP ME GOD!

—–

*Update*

Don’t hoard your votes people, I hear giving’s nice this time of year.

.

P.S. I wouldn’t know.


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It’s a Maybe

So maybe I haven’t been the most devoted writer in the world. Maybe I haven’t been the one good thing to ever happen to the world of blogging. And maybe I haven’t been here since – well – forever. And maybe – just maybe – that’s true. But that doesn’t mean its the end of the world, plenty of people are like that, plenty aren’t. Who’s to say who’s better. Maybe they have a life. Maybe they have better things to do than moon over a keyboard all day and night.

Maybe you’ll object to that, claiming that it doesn’t take much to maintain a blog. Maybe I’ll listen, or maybe I’ll wave away your objections, simply because I can. Maybe I’ll say you don’t know me, you don’t what I’ve been through, you don’t know anything about me! Maybe I’ll throw a tantrum to prove my point, maybe I’ll put a foot through the T.V., bang my head against the wall – and jump off the roof while I’m at it. Or maybe I won’t act like a little bitch. Maybe I’ll listen to what you have to say and think on it. Maybe I’ll turn my life around and become a better man, a better son, a better brother, a better father to the son I may or may not have. And maybe I’ll stop beating the wife I haven’t married. Maybe I’ll listen. Maybe I’ll start a charity for gorillas with one leg, gain worldwide recognition and become the hero I was always meant to be. Who’s is to say, maybe you’re right …

But then again, maybe I just don’t give a shit.

I do. I do.

Give a shit that is. Don’t believe me? I’ll have to set up a cam – or a recording? Your choice …

All else aside, it has been a while, though that’s putting it mildly …

Half an year.

I’ll take a moment to think on that … maybe …

Or an hour.

Or a week.

Or another half an year.

Either way, its a maybe …


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Before The Dead

Just the other day, I was walking down the street. Blinding car lights everywhere, honking like no tomorrow. Hawkers yelling at the top of their voices, people shoving other people and other people shoving back, and great roadside brawls, everyone cheering for the underdog, heartening, really.

So, I was walking down the street, and hear this, ’cause this is unbelievable!! Like, seriously WOW!! Capital letters and all.

So, there I was walking down the street, and as I was halfway across, I noticed something odd. I tilted my head sideways, just enough to look back, and the realization that hit me was beyond staggering. I came to a halt. Taking in the impact. Maybe the harsh wind was messing with my head, or maybe it was one of those inexplicable moments, but the only thing that I can clearly remember feeling is – giddy. Exultantly, blissfully giddy. I can’t explain it, I just – can’t.

Anyway, as I gathered my wits, I looked back at the street, with a different perspective. Casually, I resumed walking. Acutely aware of everything around me, more so than usual, I closed in on the exit. A steel door, barred, leading to the cemetery.

I took one calculated step across the thin crack on the road, that marked the territory of the dead. Looked back, and stepped into the cemetery. I turned at the spot, gazing at what lay before. And I thought to myself,

Tomorrow is my English test, and I desperately need to write something, anything to get back in the hang of things. And if somebody is still reading this they either really really like me or they’re just a sucker for suspense.


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I…uh…Hi!

… this … feels … awkward …

What do I say? where do I begin? Are things the same as when I left off? Am I just talking to myself? Probably.

The last time I wrote something … what was it? Ten days? No, fifteen. Yup definitely fifteen. Um … one month ago. One whole month? That can’t be right, right? Oh wait, two freakin’ months!! TWO! … Imagine that.

Hmm, let’s see, who do I remember? Yes! I’ll never forget that lady with the green colored page that makes me wanna puke. Sweet lady … something about vogue magazine … and also something about answering questions … HIMYM? … wow, my memory sucks.

Then there was that Tom guy. Was it Tom? I’m not sure. Hilarious really. Something about tops … tops … tops … topless! … wait, that can’t be right. Topicless!

Myth … a cartoon … I dunno … boy problems? … probably not …. my head hurts … tea anyone?

 

 

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