Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored

A Day’s Work

10 Comments

“Go away!”

“Uh, very well. I’ll see you at the dining table, young master.”

If you haven’t choked on your own vomit by then.

*

“Miss Hilary! How absolutely lovely you could join us at the table. The sheep’s ready for you.”

“Uh, OK.”

“I’m hooome!”

Nobody cares.

“I’M HOOOME.”

Now they do.

“O Hi daddy!”

“Hi there sweetie pie!”

“Daddy, Daddy! why does Mr. K works for us? He’s so weird.”

Because daddy is a fart and a sissie who doesn’t know how to say no.

“Now Now, honey, he’s not weird.”

He is

“He is.”

“I don’t want you thinking like that, sweetie pie. It’s wrong. You hear me? wrong.”

Says the man with weed in his underwear.

“OK, daddy.”

“And besides, he’s new to the trade, so I’m helping him out.

I beg to differ.

“Molly? Finally, where have you been all this time?”

Sharpening knives.

“The kitchen, cleaning dishes.”

Close enough.

“Well, I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?”

Limbs with a hint of blood and peppermint.

“Lamb chops.”

What did I say …

“Mr K if you would be kind enough to STOP EFFIN’ DAYDREAMING AND SERVE THE GODDAMN DINNER!!”

“Right away, master Henry.”

“Daddy, what does effin mean?”

Daddy’s life.

“Nothing honey, just an expression of anger.”

“Hey there, Dad, Mom, Sis.”

“You are effin late Jeremy!”

Pffft …

“Whoa! wha-”

“Dinner has been served!”

“What’s up with Hil? Wait, never mind, what’s for dinner?

“Flesh, young master. Cut to fine pieces by a butcher’s knife after the gruesome death and consequent beheading of some lamb unfortunate enough to be healthy and alive and in the same district as the young master’s unholy being.

“…..”

“…..”

“…..”

“…..”

… Too much?

*

Trifecta Challenge.

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Author: Hamza

A college student of 18. With sarcasm as my voice and a proud disregard for rules, I'm looking to shake up the world a little - without sounding incredibly cheesy.

10 thoughts on “A Day’s Work

  1. Ha! Boy, talk about a dysfunctional household. I think I’d be afraid to eat anything cooked in that house…

  2. ROFLMAO! I will say it was a little tricky following the conversation and who said what but I loved the inner monologue 🙂

  3. Now this was interesting – Loved the said and the unsaid.

  4. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. I, too, enjoyed the said and unsaid. I love the idea of hearing what’s happening in the minds of others. It was a touch difficult to follow, but enjoyable nonetheless. Hope to see you back soon.

  5. I got the sense that the thoughts, especially at the end, belonged to Mom, and it wasn’t until the end, when the ‘butler’ turned dinner into a bloodbath that everybody’s thoughts went silent. Fun!

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