Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored

Chagrin

16 Comments

On a whim, I decided to take on a writing challenge. I just saw a couple of familiar faces on the trifecta home page. And decided this would be my next post. So, tell me what your views on this, frankly hasty, story I came up with. Though if you’re expecting something deep and thought provoking … don’t.

The rules are something like this…

On to the word.  This week we are using Tales From the Rhoen’s suggestion.  We want between 33 and 333 words from (and including) the third definition of the word:
1: generally used, applied, or accepted
2: vernacular <the vulgar name of a plant>
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– Chagrin –
 ————————–

He saw her before she saw him. The sight wasn’t pretty. The weird girl everyone kept talking about, weird was definitely an understatement.

He had heard before that she was enrolled in his class. But she had never showed up during any of the lessons, so he had just disregarded the hype as an urban rumor.

Pulling himself together, he marched on. He slid the door open. But the moment he entered the class,”OH SHIT!

He saw everybody with their noses in their physics books, and he remembered, today was the grand test the physics teacher had been fussing over since Christmas. “I’m dead.” ,he thought with his mouth dry.

He sat in his usual chair, drinking in the scenery of the breath taking green forest that rose up along with the mountains. Stretched across the horizon, it was soothing as always.

The test began too quickly. He didn’t even have time to skim through the first page.  He sat there, with the pen in his mouth, gazing out the window. If he was gonna go down, he was going down with a smile. He absentmindedly passed a smile to the teacher who was looking at him suspiciously.

Then it arose, writhing inside of him. With a gurgling sound only he could hear. He knew what was coming before it did. He braced himself. Looked behind him, to his shock, he saw the same weird girl sitting, or rather dozing off behind him. He thanked his stars that she was asleep.

I know how to do this. Gritting his teeth and giving himself moral support, he opened it just the right amount, not too tight, not too wide. And then, with the force of a steam engine, the gas escaped his anus. It took concentration and will power to keep the hole open just the right amount so that there was no sound. He sighed with relief. It was over.  

“Vulgar, aren’t you.” came a bored voice from behind.

He froze.

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Author: Hamza

A college student of 18. With sarcasm as my voice and a proud disregard for rules, I'm looking to shake up the world a little - without sounding incredibly cheesy.

16 thoughts on “Chagrin

  1. Interesting one. Definitely different:)

  2. “Gritting his teeth and giving himself moral support, he opened it just the right amount, not too tight, not too wide. And then, with the force of a steam engine, the gas escaped his anus. ”

    That was funny. Not just because … well it was a fart joke … but also because it was an unexpected moment. I was expecting the weird-looking girl to be somehow vulgar. I was expecting the thing he knew how to do to be how to pass the test. Excellent contrasts.

  3. Yes, you definitely pulled it off. Not at all what I was expecting! Nicely done.

  4. Okay. I’m still laughing. Could be that my kids are those ages where I never hear the end of the bodily functions thing. Could be that I grew up in a household that didn’t have bodily functions, never mind joke about them. Could be that I can’t help myself but to participate in them at this late age of 45. But I think this is the funniest thing ever. And quite well crafted. Still laughing. Quite loudly.

    • I’m honored, and glad that I could make you laugh. Truly, I am. If you’re new to the whole farting experience, my father could teach you all there is to know. He’s a pro.

  5. HAHAHA…. once there was pin drop silence in the class and i was playing with my cheeks by filling the oral cavity with air from lungs and then pressing cheeks…. it was low “phuss phuss” but suddenly it burst from my mouth…. “phusssss” loudly….. and then… hehehehe

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