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Trivia I find Ignored

Bathe it Out

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Taking baths has never been the merrier of tasks for me. The water is…well, wet. And I don’t like that. Not one bit. It reminds me of eels, slippery things.

But its a custom, if not a law, to take a bath at least once a month. Normal people have baths once a week. Some prefer everyday. Don’t get me wrong I get the whole cleanliness idea. And I get that you want to look presentable.

But what about the times when you don’t have to look presentable – because there’s no one to present yourself to. What do you do? Bathe for yourself? You might say that I feel light and like a feather after I come out of a bath. It feels like the burdens have suddenly been lifted off my shoulders. Such peace.

B.S.

Have you ever wondered why your shit doesn’t smell like shit. Is it because chocolates come out of the hole or is it because there’s perfume coming out of your anus? None! Its because your body gets used to the odor. It adapts. Common observation – Same happens when your body gets dirty, not just ‘dirty’ dirty, really dirty – you grow into the un-cleanliness.

I digress. Have you ever been to a leather factory? I have. And I couldn’t get past the parking lot! The smell, oh! the foul, foul smell of that place. Its enough to get a horse to faint. But the workers stroll, like its a canteen. Well, there was a canteen in the picture but that’s besides the point. True there were some nose plugs in play, but they couldn’t possibly block out everything. The way to endure is to get used to the smell. Trust me, if you’ve lived in the sewer long enough, it will start feeling like home. I kid you not. (I think I am stealing this phrase from someone, but I don’t recall who….)

Just to be more clear on the topic, by baths I mean showers. Actual baths, with the bathtub and bubbles are not common here. Such luxuries are alien to us. And I like that, strange as that may seem, I like that.

If your job doesn’t require you to smell your armpits every waking moment – don’t bathe (armpit stink is one thing you cannot get used to). Believe me, its much more pleasant, I’ve tried. This way, you never completely wake up. Even though the eyes are open, you can always drift back to sleep when the day gets boring. Sleeping with open eyes is a art that is a must-have if you are anything like me.With me, in any conversation, the time spent actually listening is 5 minutes – max, if it lasts longer than that, either the person is talking anime or he is about to commit suicide. So, if you are a regular performer of the feat, you’ll come to appreciate the comfort of sleep even more.

Truth be told, I am dripping wet at this very moment. Shivering, freezing in front of the heater that has a habit of failing me at the most critical of times. I am cranky. And the blame had to go somewhere, it was either this or the heater was going out the window. The latter would’ve been more effective. Adrenaline rush, you know. But had to be discreet. That, and I don’t have the guts.

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Author: Hamza

A college student of 18. With sarcasm as my voice and a proud disregard for rules, I'm looking to shake up the world a little - without sounding incredibly cheesy.

14 thoughts on “Bathe it Out

  1. For the last part, why not get a towel?
    I prefer to shower at night, then I can climb right into bed.

    • Towels were my first choice, they get the work done quicker and more efficiently, but groping for them in the dark, did not yield results. Why? That’s another story altogether. Hint – loadshedding

  2. taking bath is big issue for me too…. 😦 and whenever.luckily,i step into the washroom,it takes at least 2 hours…. 😉

  3. I prefer a shower. I don’t want to be lying in my bathtub, grossed out by all the porcelain I need to clean, especially when it’s an inch away from my face.

  4. I live in a country where the weather is always like summer. Hence, taking a bath is always something we look forward. I assume you live in a place where the temperature is really low which makes it become extra challenging to dip to the water. If perhaps we switch places, then I could better feel your sentiments 🙂

    • I wouldn’t say that, in June/July the weather is as hot as it gets 45 F is an everyday routine. In winter, -2 is average. So, it doesn’t have anything to do with the weather, I just don’t like it, simple as that!

  5. You just made taking a bath interesting. haha! Nice read 🙂

  6. I love my long bath. If you fill bathtub with hot water in winter (heaven), I can just unwind and relax. Read a book until you start feeling cold 🙂

    • Yeah, that; never happened to me. For one, hot water is not an option. Which is kind of cool actually, because when I tell someone that I bath with cold water in this weather – their expressions, Priceless!

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