Diary Without Pages

Trivia I find Ignored

Baby Talk


We all have a friend, a brother, a sister, a colleague, or even a distant cousin whose place is like a second home for us. Imposing on them is a rule we gladly oblige by. Just popping in at an awkward moment is like an everyday chore greatly enjoyed.

For me this home came with babies, not just one or two, a whole freaking flock of babies, prancing about, sometimes they are cute, but only sometimes. The rest of the time is like a musical, with an extra high pitch, and dancing to boot. Calming a crying baby is one thing I’m good at. When the mothers are busy, I’m the man for the job (where I come from there is no such thing as a nanny). But the weird thing is, even though I am generally quite good with babies, I run out of things to say after like two minutes.

How to talk to a baby?

An intriguing query indeed, to which, few give a thought.

For me starter for a conversation has always been “What are you doing?” (Whats your name is used up, after the first time, it just feels cheesy). Its followed by “What are holding?”,”Who is that?” and the like. Those are the only real questions asked, really. After that its just meaningless sounds (these are almost always mimicry of baby’s cries), accompanied by pinches on the cheeks and an uncomfortable amount of kisses.

The fun part is not in the lack of words to say, its in the fact that everyone tries so hard to make the baby say something back, hardly with any luck.

How do you handle babies?

Author: Hamza

A college student of 18. With sarcasm as my voice and a proud disregard for rules, I'm looking to shake up the world a little - without sounding incredibly cheesy.

10 thoughts on “Baby Talk

  1. Whenever possible, I handle them while wearing a hazmat suit.
    And I talk to them using my normal voice, just a little slower and with fewer syllables.

    Clearly, I am not a baby fan.

    • That, you are not my friend! I’ve met very few people who actually like babies, even fewer say outright that they are not fans, the rest have their faces plastered with forced smiles when around babies.

  2. I am no good with babies. I’m awkward around them. And you’re right, they’re cute but only sometimes. When they start crying, it’s nervous breakdown for me. When I first see a baby, the first question that comes to mind is “Ooo…what’s that thing made of?” 😀

  3. I love babies, well cute babies. hahaha. I have a nice and a cousin of almost the same age that I look after to when they were tiny worms. LOL. I remember singing Amazing Grace to put them to sleep, especially to my cousin. Dunno but he seem to have liked my good (I wish!) singing voice. LOL. I also do remember watching Lighting McQueen (Cars) and Boog (Open Season ) like 10 million times I think because it is their request every morning or it will be an orchestra of the crying babies at home.

  4. i love babies! i love making them laugh (if they are the type that laughs easily) and i also love making them cry (if they are the cry babies)! 🙂

  5. I only like SOME babies. I stay away from screaming babies. I’m too scared to hold small babies but I play with the bigger kids. I usually don’t have to say anything. I just tell them “I’m hungry. I want to eat *baby’s name* and then run after them. If they can’t run I play “peek-a-boo” with them. Kids love it. They also like to be tickled!

    • Had you told me this when I was 5 years younger, I would’ve agreed with you without question. You’ve got the basics right, but just that! the basics.

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